Baby Safety Products for an Overprotective Parent

As you know we have a crawler on our hands and it is true what they say… You can’t take your eyes off them, even for a second. He is on the move constantly and nothing is too big or scary for him to explore. He’s not mastered crawling yet and he’s already trying to pull himself up on furniture. Me, on the on the other hand, well… I think my heart is permanently in my mouth. Take this morning, for example. He pulled himself onto his knees using the sofa, grabbed his dummy and after a second of smiling victoriously, lost his balance and bumped his head. Cue big tears and crying. Ouch.

I’m literally spending the whole day trying to prevent him smacking his face, head and gasping every 30 seconds. I get he needs to explore and learn but it is so tempting to just wrap him in protective gear to stop him hurting himself. If I was an overprotective mother (which I’m not) i’d definitely buy the following… That is, if it was on the baby safety Market:

1. A Baby Helmet, complete with chin guard – Prevents bumps and scrapes to the head. Also prevents the baby bumping into the corners of the cot whilst he goes off crawling within in at all hours of the night.

2. Elbow and Shin Pads – Aids the above and prevents bloody and bruised knees, cuts and scrapes

3. The Nappy Airbag – Designed for babies who have not quite mastered standing up. It inflates as soon as baby’s bum lands on the floor. Nice cushioned landing and no sore bum, or flattened poo within the nappy. Bliss.

4. Gum Shield – Does what it says on the tin. Can also double up as a teething ring.

5. (For the ultimate overprotective mummy) The all over body suit. Can be purchased in two styles; the “astronaut style” or the “Michelin baby style” (floaty or bouncy). Either way baby will be cushioned to impact.

Imagine the millions I’d make. I mean, an overprotective mother would make. Now, which Dragon would be interested?


7 thoughts on “Baby Safety Products for an Overprotective Parent

  1. I’m pretty sure you can get the helmet too (that was on dragons den)!! Right I’m off to invent the child equivalent of a hamster ball, maybe a mini zorb would do….hmmmm

  2. Haha, the nappy airbag is a hilarioous idea, could lead to a bit of a nasty poo explosion though if used at the wrong time! Gum shield is a good one, I am always worrying about Iyla hitting her mouth on the side of the coffee table. Don’t worry though, after a few weeks they do get more stable, I can just sit and watch Iyla now as she goes around climbing on everything – not for long though as she’s about to master the sofa. There’s always something! X

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