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Listography – Inventions

This is my first entry into Kate’s Listography linky over at Kate Takes 5.  This week the theme is Inventions we would invent to make our lives easier.  As you can imagine a lot of them are “new baby” related.

1.  The Complete Baby Steriliser.

This fantastic gadget would pick your bottles up (by some clever magnetic radar thing) and draw it into the sterliser.  It would then proceed to disassemble all the bottles into its varioues components, wash them thoroughly and the finish the job off by stertilising them.  It would even have a timer on it so you’d have freshly sterilised bottles waiting for you when you woke up or came home from an outing.

2.  The Baby feed maker

This not only makes up a baby’s feed for you but self fills itself when baby has decided he wants more.  How many panicked trips to the kitchen would that save.

2.  The self washing and cleaning car

No car would ever need washing again, ever.  Inside or out.  As soon as it detected you had left it would scan itself and hoover up, get rid of all the empty bottles, toys, wrappers etc and clean itself inside and out.

3.  The Meal Dispenser

You pick from the gadget (or even the app on your iPhone) what you want to eat and the Meal Dispenser goes about making it.  Completly nutrional and healthy.  It even washes up once you’re finished!

4.  The Ultra Light Baby Seat

How heavy are they! Are they filled with cement?  Anyway, this ultra light baby seat would be just as safe and weigh about the same size as your clutch or handbag.  It might even just clip itself into the car so no more faffing with seatbelts or bases.

5.  The Tummy Firmer

A magical pill that snaps your tummy back to EXACTLY what it was before you were pregnant.  No more need to excercise like crazy or watching what you eat.

What Not To Do When Weaning

I’ve linked up to Flashback Friday. I started weaning Baby Z about May last year and it was very interesting at first…

Well, we’ve been weaning for about 4 weeks now. I’m still no expert and as expected its all a bit of trial and error and generally experimenting with lots of flavours. And, my god, the poo, the POO!! I thought one could not get anymore obsessed with poo than I already was. I had obviously never weaned before though.

At the moment we are going through “why is his poo like goat poo? Why!! Why!!”. Is that too much information? It is though, like little pellets. It feels like a bit of a seesaw balance of omitting foods, adding a lot more liquids, a bit of orange juice, a lot more massage and todays latest; prune juice. I think (THINK!) we are about halfway to finding the right balance, but I get the feeling that it will only be until the next new flavour, taste and texture is added. I hate you poo!

So, really, there’s no way I can class myself anywhere near masterful at this weaning malarkey. What I can tell you though, is the stuff you probably shouldn’t do. I have plenty of those. Don’t get me wrong, I am really enjoying it. I, no, we, are on what looks like a bit of a learning curve.

So here goes, what NOT to do. (so far!)

1. Don’t stand in the supermarket fruit and veg aisle staring at a Butternut squash wondering whether you should buy it, and if you do, how the hell are you going to cook it? Actually, how the hell are you even going to peel it? I have to admit we don’t really (ok, never!) have eaten the thing. So why do mums get obsessed by it for babies? Anyway, point is, all that staring will, at some point, result in one of the staff asking if you’re ok and if you need any help. Aka “move along lady, you’re blocking the fruit and veg aisle!”. At this point you’ll grab the squash anyway and scurry along sheepishly.

2. Don’t dress the baby in white. Mostly, enough said. But has anyone else noticed that even with a bib on, food will find it’s way behind it, over it, under it. Bibs seem a bit useless to be honest.

3. When making purees, make sure you peel the fruit / veg. It is very messy trying to get skin off afterwards and not really worth stress levels going through the roof.

4. Don’t puree everything in sight and then expect the baby to like it all. I made the mistake of getting “adventurous” and then getting sick of all the puree that all looked green. We went back to a flavour at a time. It works really well. And I LOVE (well baby does) the Ella range. It’s very nice. (and yep I taste everything I give to baby, especially if I’ve bought it ready made).

5. Balancing a bowl of baby porridge between your legs whilst you feed baby is a bad idea. He will knock it a clean 180 degrees straight onto your jeans. Trying to wipe porridge OFF jeans is a worse idea. It spreads everywhere and seems to dry into something looking like dried glue.

6. When baby looks like he’s going to sneeze with a mouthful of food, get out of the way quickly. Don’t start wondering if he will a) sneeze and b) will he spray food everywhere. He’ll do both and it’ll be on you.

7. Don’t put baby on the carpet immediately after eating. Food will get transferred onto toes that will get shoved into his mouth and, if you’re very unlucky, also get sicked up onto carpet.

8. Don’t exclaim “is someone doing a poo poo” straight after weaning. Slink away to do the dishes and casually call out to OH to change baby’s nappy. Then listen out for the horrified “oh my god!! It stinks!!”

9. Don’t give your baby coke. I haven’t done this but I’ve seen someone who has. It was just so shocking!! But I’ll stop mentioning it now, honest.

Come link up to Flashback Friday

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